So here I sit in my sh!!t!
There are piles of paper, opened bags of nappies, cat hair (eeew), folders on the floor, the book-case is a mess… and I am sitting in my sh!!t!
I know, I know… I am a soon to be Feng Shui consultant… a damn good one at that, if I do say so myself.. big-noting myself – not something I do very much! but I do believe I am going to be great at this because I really resonate with it, I love love love it! and the connection I have with people and their environment and the messages I get through is very very validating…. but enough of that….
I am stuck! Really stuck! I know that this room that I am sitting in, my study in our home, needs to be beautiful!
I have known for weeks and maybe months, what I need to do to sort this space out.
Feng Shui speaking this is also MY sector – the Mother, the Matriarch sector of my home and I know that if I sort this space out I will feel more supported and have more energy.
I also know that if I sort out (Feng Shui) this area and our backdoor/entrance it will provide great energy to enhance our Personal Power, to be recognised and can increase our good reputation for our chosen career and may even bring fame!
And it is not like this space hasn’t been beautiful before… a few years back this was my healing room
where clients use to come and it was beautiful…
Though, here I sit still… in my crappy excuse of a study.
I have tried to sort this space out a few times on quite a few occassions…. and I just can’t seem to do it.
I have wondered this for a while and I think now I can compile a list of some compounded reasons why I haven’t shifted this stuckness and moved into the positive energy and change this creation maybe able to achieve in my life and my family’s life.
- I am not ready
- The energy is not ready
- I am self sabotaging any success that I may receive from shifting this energy
- the thought of being successful in my chosen field seems foreign to me
- It is the unknown
- Maybe on some level I feel I don’t deserve to receive any positive change
- Am I a fake?
- Do people really need to come and see ME?
- I feel safe in my lack pattern and have no idea of how things could be if I endeavour to let go of my safety blankey
And even though I am aware of these negative patterns and stuckness… I am still stuck and almost feel like I have dug my heels in….
This stuckness has revealed a nice process to me that I have noticed with some of my family and friends when I have recommended some changes in their home to create better energy through some Feng Shui procedures and I have been met with the same stuckness and resistance to change.
‘Oh no, we can’t move that there because of a,b,c…’ though from an outsiders point of view it is totally do-able.
I have been met with crankiness, dismissiveness and procrastination and this is all from people who have asked me or welcomed me to Feng Shui their homes. AND… it is a totally NORMAL human response to change…. though from an outsiders point of view, someone who doesn’t have an emotional attachment to where you wish to place your bed or move your dining area around or declutter,… it seems a really simple thing to do….
When I became conscious of my own resistance to change and creating beauty in my home, I started Googling ‘resistance to change’ and there seems to be a whole industry built around resistance in the business sector and how to get teams ready for change and how get them to accept it within the corporate world – I have never been in the corporate world – so this is kinda a biggy…. and obviously what holds people back from moving forward…
Because I work with energy I also like to wait for the that energy shift so I can jump right in when the timing becomes available….
Almost like if you have to catch a wave into shore… instead of just swimming when you have the desire to get back to the beach, then struggling against the pull of the tide sucking back to create the next wave…. you wait… and wait for the build up of energy and life force,… and then you launch yourself into the wave, which if you catch it at the right time and ‘go with the flow’, you get to shore easier and with little effort.
And this is the way I like to do things, most of the time….
But what if there are no waves?
What if you are out there swimming around and you are getting tired and you just want to get to shore? It can be hard work to get back and sometimes you have to manage to find the strength to keep going to get to shore… to get where you need to be… (a bit of a dramatic analogy for just moving some furniture around and putting some nice items in to look at, I heard you say under your breath)
I also feel that when we need to change things about how we are currently doing things or the environment we live in, it can be like getting a new tooth.
You know when you were a kid and your old tooth was nearly ready to come out…. and you would wiggle it and pull it and wiggle it some more… though all the while, you would also be complaining and not biting into hard things like an apple just in case it would come out?…. that is how I feel it is like when we know we have to do something in order for the change to occur. After some initial *humfs* and *grunts*, pulling and prodding …. just when you least expect it…. BAM the tooth comes out and you end up receiving a nice little abundance package from the tooth fairy! plus a brand new strong tooth!
So for me for now…. there are no waves to ride to shore…. and I have to start the wiggling and pulling until the shift comes and for the energy to change, so I can create a wave in order to catch it to the Tooth Fairy!
I will ensure to take some nice piccies of my beautified study when it is complete!
For now though peeps…. forgive yourself for your resistance… and then wait for the wave and if the water is flat and still… start wiggling and pulling and stirring up that water!