You’d think that it would be a given that sexism and spirituality wouldn’t co-exist, but it does.
I recently had a very confronting sexist and intimidating experience at my home where I felt unsafe.
And one comment that came my way and I find has been coming up in spiritual circles and groups, is; ‘If the woman heals her masculine energy, these incidences will diminish or stop‘.
This is super dangerous information.
Because this is still victim blaming but in an energetic or spiritual way. It’s like saying, if you just work on yourself more, men wont be attracted to be violent, intimidating, sexist etc towards you. If you just do ‘this’, then ‘that’ won’t happen. Something that women in DV situations constantly way up.
And so I’m calling BS on this. Bad things happen to good people. It doesn’t matter how frikin spiritual you are, life is full of challenging things.
Don’t tell me to call on my inner Kali, my vulva power or to heal my masculine when confronted by 3 men at my home.
It’s important that your safety comes first. And holding men accountable for their actions is what needs to happen. This really seems practical and full of common sense, but people can be blindsided when there’s a twist of spiritually thrown in. I’ve heard intelligent, independent women say ‘women need to heal our inner masculine in order for there to be equality’.
And this is not right!
I think some of the most important skills women have is communication. And talking about incidences of sexism, violence against women and abuse and speaking up against it is how we can address these occurrences.
And I think it’s a bit of a cop out that, again, women are told they have to do the spiritual workload to stop these incidences from happening. Because it doesn’t really matter how much a man has been confused, or his emotions not allowed to be expressed whilst he was growing up etc, he is now an adult. A grown man with choices.
Just like every girl that was sexually abused, she certainly doesn’t grow up threatening people and using her physical presence to intimidate the opposite sex. Men have used violence for power over women forever. And they need to take responsibility for that and they need to start carrying the load and responsibility of healing themselves so they are no longer a threat.
There’s plenty of free counselling available to men, including google, movies and movements all asking and telling them how not to treat women and how to best interact appropriately. There’s also resources to learn how to express themselves emotionally. They have to carry their load.
Women, please don’t feel pressured that you have to do all the work on your ‘masculine’ in a spiritual way in order for equality. Women have been having to carry this burden for way too long and it’s time to hand that over to men.
Let them do their healing. We’ve got our own stuff to deal with, especially from previous and current abuse and lack of power in societal systems.
Our masculine side is just fine. Our masculine, or let’s call it ‘Yang’, is about action, activism and speaking out. This is us. We just don’t need men making us feel unsafe and harassing us while we do that.
Let our voices ring out, let us support each other, especially those women who’s voices have been dampened more than most – women from different cultures, races and religion.
Speak up, call them out, call the police and report it to the authorities, this is a way to heal and to make a difference. And hold the perpetrator accountable for their actions.
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