Fear can be debilitating.
Fear can bring you to your knees. Make you want to run and scream, make you want to yell and fight or freezes you in your tracks so you can’t. move. a. muscle.
Fear can filter through every thought, every goal, every aspect of your life and why you choose the things you choose.
Fear can grab hold of your steering wheel and navigate your entire life.
And Fear can be the one thing you have thats always there for you. Quietly holding your hand and guiding you back to your safety zone.
I have always been fearful, for as long as I remember.
A scared and frightened child due to a family trauma.
I was scared I would die, from anything really. I would look for funnel web spider (in which there were many where I grew up) bites on my legs, just in case. I would have to move until I couldn’t hear my mum’s heart beat if we were cuddling, you know, just in case it stopped. I was scared of swimming, the water, boats, people, men, the dark, fireworks, amusement rides, anything fun. I was the ultimate ‘scaredy cat’.
And when I got older, I became scared of heights, flying, dying (still), speaking in public, people, social situations, how to say goodbye to people, still men, my kids dying, illness, people judging me, people not liking me, going away in case we died and anything that potentially you could die from. Alcohol became a great friend to get me through my social awkwardness, to loosen me up and have some fun.
I didn’t realise until the last few years that I obviously had an underlying anxiety issue my whole life (der, really?), I had a stint of panic attacks when I was at Uni where I would require a quick blow into a paper bag whilst hyperventilating and now, where it has spiralled down into a messy gut health issue coupled with adrenal exhaustion. Woohoo go me!
We, as a global community, seem to be climaxing in the fear stakes recently. With ‘terror’ attacks. Isn’t it interesting we even use the word terror? The attacks are there to incite fear and we perpetuate that fear by even giving it the power of fear by calling it ‘terror’. Why not change it to coward attacks, or gutless, or fucked-up attacks? Why terror? Why hand over our power like that to fear?
And this is where I want to turn that back to you. Every part of you is shaping the world in which we live and the global consciousness. Every part of you is reflected in your environment. And the environment and the world, is also having an affect on you. We are all one. You know that, right? As fear is taking a major role in our global consciousness and seems to be growing, it’s now time for you to take this Fear and pry its tight grip off your steering wheel, take the car keys out of its possession and tell it to get into the back seat.
You see, we all need fear to an extent. Fear can be your friend, and is a natural response to protect you from physical and emotional danger. But it’s meant to be a short lived visit, maybe just time for a cuppa. Fear should not become your housemate or should you pass your car keys over and let Fear take you to Nowhere-ville. Fear may even just take your whole set of keys, lock your front door to make you stay inside, nice and safe for ever, together. Happily ever never.
When Fear comes to stay it can not only take a grip on you emotionally, but also physically.
Fear can make you work yourself to the bone, because of your fear of failure, fear of lack of abundance, fear of not keeping up with everyone else and make you stay up all night looking at screens, pushing you to burn the candle at both ends. It can set you in a cycle of continually being stressed out, eventually exhausting your adrenals. You may get night sweats, sweaty palms and soles of the feet, you feel thirsty all the time, have tight muscles, headaches, fatigue, bizarre dreams, insomnia, heart palpitations, panic attacks and anxiety, lower back pain and tightness, bladder issues, bedwetting and cystitis, poor hair quality and hearing problems.
Emotionally you could have crying spells, depression and anxiety, overwhelming fear, the feeling of not being able to cope with anything, lack of will power, fear of failure, being suspicious of others, paranoid, complaining and not having a good sense of your goals and approaching projects or ideas, a bit wishy-washy, unfocused and most times, frustrated.
Yep, Fear is a pretty bad driver.
In the Chinese 5 Element Theory, Fear likes to reside in the Water Element and sits nice and neatly into the Kidneys and Bladder.
Kidney Qi is where your main Life Force or Ancestral Qi resides. It is said that when we are born we’re only given your life’s worth of Jing (ancestral qi) and when that has run out, so do we. So to waste or use up your Kidney Qi on fear can drain your over all life force energy, is it really worth it? It can affect all of your systems and all parts of your life. Kidney Qi is also asking you to go back into your Ancestral lineage and past to find the fear. To go to the core of fear and deal with it face to face.
Kidney Qi also governs your sexual energy. So either excessive or being ‘overly’ sexual, or the inability to climax or other sexual disfunction’s can indicate an imbalance in Kidney Qi…. and can all lead back to a fear. There is much power in sexual energy and to honour this is an important step in coming into your own self empowerment.
And so being the Water Element, which is the most Yin of all elements, it is asking you to go within. To flow like Water through your challenges. Water has the amazing ability to dive deep into the emotional dark depths to then come back to the surface calm and clear.
So, by strengthening your Kidney Qi you will start to notice a huge shift in the release of your perpetual fears.
How to get Fear into your back seat.
First and foremost, if you need to work through trauma or challenging patterns, please seek help from a professional like a GP, psychologist or counsellor. These people are trained to help guide you through the depths of your Water (emotions and psychological health). The Water Element is where the psychologists and counsellors work, in the depths of the darkness of the deep. Find one that resonates with you the most and go diving into Fear.
Or see an Energetic Healing Practitioner who can guide you into the depths of your Fear, hold space and help you work down your Ancestry line. Sacred Space Sessions are great for this >>
Send healing energy to your Kidneys. It really can be that simple. Rub the palm of your hands together until they feel warm, and then cup them over your kidneys. You can place these either on the front or the back of your body. Take some deep breathes and do this for at least 10 mins. I like to do this before falling asleep. The water element loves you to rest and lie down, so its best done when you are relaxed and horizontal.
Stretching your Water element. The Bladder meridian, which is the Yang energy of the Water element, runs right down either side of your spine and down the sciatica. By sitting on the floor, with your legs out the front of you, bend forward to try and touch your toes. This stretches and releases the stagnant energy in this meridian.
Taking a pinch of Himalayan rock salt in water first thing in the morning can feed the energy of Kidney Qi. Salt has the ability of driving the energies deep down into the body, which helps to reach into the depths of Water.
Take an Epsom Salt bath. Again this is a great way to get salt deep into the body, but it is also a great way to get your fill of the Water element. Here’s some more info on how to make an Epsom Salt bath >>
Rest. Rest. Rest. As mentioned before Fear resides in the Water Element which is the most Yin of all elements. If Fear has taken the drivers seat then your Yin is out of balance and you are probably functioning on overdrive – hello adrenal exhaustion! Going to bed at 9:30 so you are asleep by 10pm is so important for many functions of your body, not only to replenish your adrenals, but to nourish your liver and your emotional processes of the day.
Strenuous or excessive exercise is not recommended especially in Winter time when your reserves are lowered and out energies are inward. Exercise that is enough to get the circulation going is recommended such as swimming or walking briskly.
Tai Chi and Qigong are recommended as they warm the body up but do not drain the Qi. In fact, I have just started filling up my Kidney Qi with this Qi Gong exercise >>
Deep breathing exercises triggers your parasympathetic nervous response and helps to calm the fight or flight response is really helpful to maintain a calm. Here’s how to do the Yogic Breath >>
Meditation! need I say more? Well, maybe I will in the future posts to come.
Eating foods that nourish your Kidney Qi.
- Foods that nourish the deep energies such as hearty broths, soups, stews, Miso soup, and fish stock based soups.
- Warming foods especially in the Winter time as the cold can aggravate the Water.
- Pork and fish especially for meats.
- Root vegetables – potatoes, pumpkin
- Bitter foods in Winter
- Dark food such as kidney beans, adzuki beans and beetroot
- Sea vegetables and seaweeds have a strong affinity to the water element.
- Soy sauce and tamari
- Salty food as it strengthens the Qi of the food and allows the Qi to be drawn deep into the body. Salt needs to be balanced and not in excess.
- Barley, rice millet and buckwheat. Millet is very alkalising and buckwheat warming to the body
- Fruits of the forest such as blackberries and cranberries
- Watermelon and grapes
- Some foods known to reduce dampness if present; green or jasmine tea, onion, turnip, radish, pumpkin, horseradish, lemon, mushroom, parsley, alfalfa and mackerel
- Increase walnuts, all leafy green vegetables, green beans and peas, zucchini, celery, lettuce and cabbage.
- Warming spices to warm the body such as ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, dill and fennel seeds.
- Pure room temperature water to promote a healthy balance of fluid in the body.
- Cold or raw foods as can imbalance the Water and earth element. So reducing these are important.
- And cutting back on stimulants such as coffee and alcohol with also help.
Australian Bush Flower Essences which can help you when you are feeling the fear…
- Dog rose
- Dog Rose of the Wild Forces
- Red Lily
- Sunshine Wattle
Honouring your Yin, the Divine Feminine, is one of the most important and spiritual connective practices you can do to conquer Fear. Though this is another subject I’ll cover later.
I feel I need to write these posts on Fear in Parts. There’s just so much information and connected pieces to it, it’s great to work in steps and pieces. Bit by bit.
Next week I’ll post more, but for now Love your Kidneys, Love your Adrenals and Love your Yin.
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